Lent

 This year, I was struggling with what to give up for Lent.  After a really bad experience of giving up coffee a few years ago, which seemed to only punish me and those around me, but didn't get me any closer to God, I didn't even know what to give up or if I should give up anything.  After all, I eat pretty healthfully, and other than the coffee, there's nothing that I have every day that I felt like would be much of a sacrifice to give up.

I wanted to do something that would make me better, make me closer to God, and if possible, make the world just a little bit better.  And finally... I had a good idea- giving up being mean.  If anything is clear at this point in time, it's that our world needs less meanness.  Meanness on T.V., meanness disguised as humor, and meanness towards others not "just like us" all seem rampant today.  I decided that during Lent, I would give up being mean.  As a decently nice person, I've already made better choices since making this decision, but I've also failed a few times already.  One of the biggest things I've realized as a result is that so many times, I am mean to myself.  I'll find myself doubting myself, second-guessing myself, or about to not act in my own best interest of complete self-respect.  It's made me so much more aware of those times, and it's surprisingly easy to just say, "Stop it.  Don't be mean," when it is directed in a way towards myself.  It's a big way of letting myself off the hook, and I've found that being better this way towards myself is making me better towards others as well...more clear, more direct, and just more thoughtful.  More likely to give them the benefit of the doubt or just accept them as I am accepting myself as I am more.

I know that I won't always meet the goal throughout the season, but I already feel more peaceful and secure since making this decision.  I know that others around me have already benefited, and even in situations that I don't know what to do, I now start by thinking, "Don't be mean."  I'm feeling like this is a much better Lenten choice for myself since it's helping me to become better, and hopefully I will keep this habit long after Lent is over.